My good friend AC (name altered to protect his guilt) has been going through some marital problems and other personal tragedies lately. When he mentioned that a woman from his office was going to have a wild Halloween party, and he did not plan on attending, I was shocked.

He said there would be lots of single ladies there, it would be awkward, and he did not have a costume and he only had 1 day to prepare.
I told him he could borrow my medieval Renaissance fair costume and go as a nobleman. I had the whole outfit ready to go minus the sword.
He is not as in shape as me, and the tights were a bit snug. Since he is endowed "challenged" I suggested he stop at the grocery store to strategicaly place a carrot or small cucumber down the front to get a little more attention from the female guests.

Well I guess he only took half my advice. It appears that he must have stopped at the 7-11 and grapped a couple of those 24 hour rottisserie hot dogs because there is a stain on my pants the exact size of a beef weiner.

He also returned the clothes folded in a way it was all hidden and left them on my front porch.
Suggestions on what to use to get the stain out?
Specks– you must never get to go to really, really, good parties